


There's no sweeter than what you give me

by princeofwriting



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Character Death, Fluff, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Happy Ending, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Magnus Bane, Rape/Non-con Elements, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27432694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princeofwriting/pseuds/princeofwriting
Summary: Takes place in S2E5 "Dust and Shadows"What if Alec was so overcome with guilt that when he was at Iris' with Clary, he drank the tea instead of Clary? That he let a demon have it's way with him instead? And it was all just to get Clary's Mother back? What would Magnus think?Magnus felt low, he had hardly got to Alexander since the wedding, he understood that things had been busy lately but after hearing about what happened with Jocelyn he couldn't help but feel a little worried. He thought opening up about his mother to Clary would take a little weight off but he was wrong.YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO COPY TO ANOTHER SITE, ALREADY POSTED ON WATTPAD.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 14





	1. Heart Heart Head - Meg Myers.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter titles have nothing to do with the chapter, they're just random titles of songs I was listening to at the time.
> 
> I apologise in advance about any spelling or grammar mistakes.
> 
> Cross posted on wattpad @_jaslkai 
> 
> Please read warnings in tags.

Alec needed some air, after the events that had happened that day, all he could feel was his throat tightening, making it difficult to breath.

A small explosion later found him aiming his bow and arrow off the top of the institute again, the cool night air cooling his burning skin and somehow making breathing easier.

They had spent months trying to figure out how to find and wake Jocelyn. And now all that was left was some dried blood underneath his fingernails. He took a breath in and fired another arrow, the bang softly resernating in the night air.

He felt better when he was using his bow, years and years of training with it, with his father and mother drilling him, it was the only time his head was actually clear, and always with one thing in mind. Aim shoot, Aim shoot, so he did. Over and over off into the night sky.

"Alec," Jace' voice was soft, Alec didn't even hear him come up. He turned and aimed at the other, who was staring at him with concern.

"Move," Alec ordered, still aiming at the other. Jace stepped forward slightly.

"How long have you been up here?" He blond asked. Concern that Alec found sickening laced his voice, Alec didn't know what the others' problem was. He should be mad, infuriated, but all Alec saw was worry in the others eyes. He tightened his hold on his bow, still not letting up.

"I'm glamoured. No one can see me. Move," he ordered once more, inwarderly cursing himself when his voice wavered slightly. Jace didn't let up.

"You can't beat yourself up," Jace insisted, unmoving from Alec' crosshairs. Alec cringed. Was this who he was now? Someone who threatens, and even kills his friends? his joints hurt from the cold, but that was just.

"I'm not," he snapped defensively, tightening the bow even more, his hands shaking. Jace sighed.

"Who are you talking to?" The blond wavered, "I'm your parabatai. I know exactly what you're going through," Alec saw red when the last sentence left the others lips. About to snap at the other, he didn't kill their only hope, he didn't ruin everything, there was no way- by the Angel- that Jace had any idea about what he was going through, but Jace continued, sounding a little angry.

"What happened with Jocelyn, wasn't you. That was the demon." Jace informed. No, Alec thought, he was weak enough to let a demon in and look where that got them.

"Get out of the way," his voice broke. Jace put his hands up defensively and Alec cringed.

"Hey," Jace took a little step back. "Same side, remember?" Reverting back to their childhood. Memories of times when they weren't parabatai, but were planning it, times where it was just Jace, Isabelle and himself, times where things were easier.

Alec lowered his bow, he didn't want to hurt anyone, it was his job to protect, the very thing he was shaped to do since childhood. He took in a deep breath and was immediately back inside the institute, Jocelyn's blood on his hands and Clary standing above him.

He looked back up at Jace who signed impassiantly, slapping his sides and: "Come on, man. Come back inside."

And face Clary? Look upon the disapproving shadow hunters? Listen to the murmuring of "Downworlder whore." And will soon turn into rumors about him murdering Jocelyn? That's that last place he wanted to be.

"That's the last place I want to be," he echoed and started walking toward the ledge.

"Alec," Jace said urgently, following along behind him, "Valentine has the soul-sword." Ah, just another thing Alec failed to protect.

"He slaughtered the silent brothers-" Alec cringed but also wondered why Jace wasn't throwing him off the roof, he was a murderer, and even let Izzy get possessed. Jace just kept insisting.

"We need our best soldiers---"

"Stop pretending this never happened!" Alec snapped and turned to face his parabatai.

Silence spread around them for a few beats. Alec felt pressured to show Jace how much of a failure he was, how he was a failed soldier.

"I couldn't save you from Valentine," he yelled desperately, when Jace just stared at him he continued, hoping the other would understand, "I couldn't save you from the City of Bones. I…"

He looked down at the ground in shame before looking back up and the others worried face. He still didn't understand.

"She's Clary's Mother," he stated. And started at the other for a few moments before continuing, voice quiet and braking but Jace definitely heard it: "Your mother."

Jace looked sad, looking off to the side of Alec for a split second. Alec couldn't take that look on his face, the look he put there, so he turned away.

Too busy activating his runes to take into consideration Jace's statement about nobody blaming him.

"They should," and with that, he jumped. Landing on his feet, thanks to the runes the height didn't damage anything, only made his legs ache.

He started running, without knowing where he was going, he considered going to Magnus's but found himself forcing himself not to. Magnus was good, and probably doesn't want to see Alec at this time of night.

"Absolutely not!" Magnus barged into his loft, Clary and Simon trailing behind.

"But is it possible?" Clary asked, in her own fiery redheaded way. Simon chose to keep his mouth shut. Not wanting to rile her up even more.

When she received no answer from the warlock she tied again, "Magnus, tell me, can it be done?"

Magnus groaned in frustration before turning to her.

"Sure, there are warlocks that have achieved this before," he was tempted to lie to her, but thought better of it, he's better off just telling her the risks and how dangerous that type of magic is. Clary looked hopeful.

"But," he hated how her face fell on 'but,' "what you're talking about is dark, dark magic, it's wildly unpredictable-"

"Have you done it before?" Simon asked. Magnus turned to him in shock.

"No. Don't encourage this," the fledgling cowered at the harsh tone and Magnus would totally feel just a little bit sorry if what they were suggesting weren't so barbaric.

Magnus sighed and turned back to Clary, who just looked defeated. He stepped closer to her.

"Biscuit, I'm sorry. I know what your mother meant to you," he breathed and Clary recoiled.

"She was my Mom. If you were me and if we were talking about your Mom-" Mangus flinched back and at her confused look he added, "I wouldn't bring her back," in a cold tone.

Clary And Simon just looked at him in shock. "I don't understand," Clary said quietly and Magnus sighed in frustration.

He looked into her eyes and decided to tell her, it was alwast five hundred years ago and didn't mean anything to him anymore so why does his chest hurt whenever he talks about it?

"I was nine years old when my Mom found out what my cat eyes meant," he paused, taking in a sharp breath, "She couldn't live with the fact he bore the son of a demon." He stared into Clary's eyes, voice watery, "So she took her life," he kept his face neutral but his voice gave away the hurt he was feeling.

He motioned his hand toward the coffee table where the knife Simon had found in Camille's belongings sat.

"With this very keris," he finished. Simon's face fell, remembering the object he'd used to scare off Camel- Magnus's snake.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Clary said sympathetically. Magnus turned back to her.

"It was a long time ago," he smiled and walked back up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, "and over time it got easier," he paused again and looked at her eyes, "Never easy, but easier."

"Your mother was a special woman, she only water to protect you, no matter the cost," tears started forming in her eyes, "so much so that she had me remove your memories." 

"Since we can't get those back," he dropped his hands from her shoulders and clicked his fingers, a photo of younger Clary and Jocelyn appearing in his hand, he handed it to her, "take one of mine."

"Oh my God," Clary said shakingly while she stared at the picture, "when was this?"

"The day I met you." The warlock informed, Clary glanced up at him, "The first thing I noticed was that you and your mother shared the same laugh." Clary let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob. Magnus placed another comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Losing someone isn't something you can just make better with magic," he gave her a small smile, "the best thing you can do is meet it head on and cry your eyes out."

Clary stood quietly for a moment before storming out of the loft, Simon straight behind then.

Magnus stared after them, hoping, hoping that they don't try anything stupid.

Alec sighed as he walked through the industry. He didn't want to be there, but alas he is a shadow hunter and spending the rest of his days punching and hitting trees with his bow as he had done the night before was not the Lightwood way.  
Though being involved with a warlock wasn't either.

Magnus.

Alec' feelings weren't entirely set in stone about the warlock. They had shared that kiss at his wedding and had said they'd go on a date but Magnus hadn't mentioned it further. But they still look at each other the same way and something about the warlock draws him in. He just has no idea how to move forward from here.

He was going to talk to Clary ever since this morning. He had a plan to apologise but now that he was in front of her door doubt started to seep in.

He took a breath in, and before he lost the drive, he knocked at the door and without really waiting for an answer opened it.

Clary was sitting at the edge of her bed and looked up when he heard the door open.

"Hey." Alec said quietly, and before Clary could get in a word, "I'm so sorry, Clary. I would give anything to get back those thirty seconds. To get your Mom back--"

"Alec," Alec stopped breathing, waiting for the yelling for the slap but all that came was a:

"Maybe we can get her back."

"What?" Alec asked. His whole body relaxing, he could make this right. Clary stood from the bed.

"I found a warlock, who claims she can do it but there are risks," she breathed.

Alec furrowed his eyebrows, risks be damned, he do anything.

"I'll go with you," he stated, voice determined. Clary looks doubtful.

"Clary if there is any chance we could get your mother back, we have to take it." He looked at her, "I'll be there."

"Okay," Clary agreed. Voice thankful, "let's do it."

Alec was reeling, he had finally managed to do something right.

Alec and Clary stood outside the mansion-like house. Although he was nervous Alec knocked while doing a quick double take of the perimeter.

A pregnant lady opened the door, her dark hair tied up in a half ponytail.

"Are you here to see Dr Rouse?" She asked.

"Yes. Um…" Clary breathed, "I think she's expecting me, my name's Clary."

"I was indeed expecting you," a voice wellcome sounded behind the pregnant lady, who opened the door all the way to reveal a middle aged woman with ginger hair, "I only wondered when."

"And I see you brought a guest," she walked up to the door, staring at Alec, "Ah, yes, he will do nicely." Alec's shoulders squared defensively. Clary looked at her in confusion.

Alec shuttered, he felt wrong, something about being in another warlock's presence that wasn't Magnus's just made him feel jittery. But he quickly pulled himself together because:

This is about Clary and bringing Jocelyn back, not his comfort.

With that he and Clary were invited into Rouse' home.


	2. bon iver - rosyln

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this chapter at all. But meh.

"Wait," Alec and clary stopped in Iris's corridor, she turned to them and and Alec held his breath when she looked at him expectantly, "leave your weapon outside," the order was clear, he felt a ting of fear run through him, if he didn't have his bow he'd be completely defenseless and the uneasy feeling he gets around her only grew, leaving a heavy feeling on his spine. She smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, don't worry, it'll be safe in the alcove," Alec and Clary shared a glance, Clary didn't hesitate to walk straight in, while Alec reluctantly placed his bow and blade near the steps before walking in.

The place was spacious, if not a little too red for Alecs liking, though something about the smell put him a little at ease. His shoulders slumped slightly, he saw Rouse grin at him but chose to ignore it.

"I bought a piece of my mother's hair?" Clary's voice sounded, she sounded unsure, though when Rouse smiled warmly at her she let out a small relieved sigh.

They walked down the hallway, Alec skin pricked when he heard Rouse mention a blood oath to Clary, Clary probably didn't even know how dangerous those were.

"Blood oath?" He cut in, making Rouse stop walking and turn to him, her smile now strainged and forced, obviously annoyed.

"Yes, that was the deal," she looked at Clary, "unless you do not want to continue?" Clary was about to protest but Alec cut her off.

"What's the oath for?" He asked, there are several shadow hunter deaths a year due to them making oaths to warlocks. Now, he knows that doesn't include all warlocks, Magnus would never take advantage of people, Alec felt his face heat up at the thought of the elder male.

Rouse must of taken his flushed face as anger because:

"Do not worry, just a small favor," she smiled, Alec felt guilty rush through him, Clary wouldn't even need to sign a blood oath if it wasn't for him.

"I'll do it instead," Clary looked at him in shock. Rouse tilted her head in curiosity.

"Anything from me, in exchange for Clary's mother's life," he pressed, he could see Rouse contemplating it.

"Would your warlock like that?" Rouse asked, Alec looked at her in confusion.

"Oh, dear, it's ok, I can smell him all over you," she smiled, Alec's confusion only grew, the only warlock he'd been around was Magnus, and he sure as hell didn't belong to him.

"Alec-" Clary started before she was cut off.

"I'm doing it, she wouldn't even be dead if it wasn't for me anyway!" He spat, glaring at her. She looked at him in shock, her brows furrowed.

"Alec, that's not-"

"Very well then," Rouse cut Clary off before she started walking again.

After leaving Clary in a room with a couch, she walked Alec to a separate room. Where he signed a piece of paper with his blood, agreeing to do anything, and completely ignoring the voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Magnus.

Iris grinned at him, telling him to enjoy his tea before making her way back to Clary.

Alec sat there staring at his cup of tea, he felt relieved that he'd helped fix something. As soon as they revive Jocelyn they'd be a step closer to defeating Valentine.

He took a victory sip of his tea, it tasted like Chamomile, he never really liked tea but decided to drink it anyways.

He heard a pitter patter of feet and looked up from his now half empty cup to see a young girl. 

"Hi," he said, she just stared at him and walked closer. He smiled softly, that uneasy feeling he had earlier increasing tenfold.

"It's a nice place, where are your toys?" He asked, trying to at least hear her to talk.

She pointed at look up to the second floor, her neck opening slightly while doing so.

A warlock. Alec grinned.

"Cool gills," he stated. A sudden mace of drowsiness washed over him. He vaguely noticed the girl's eyes widened in fear but his whole attention was on his cup. 

He'd been poisoned, or drugged.

He stood up quickly, going to find Clary but as soon as he did so he fell to the floor as the room spun around him.

"What's wrong," the girl's panicked voice sounded like it was underwater.

Before he could do anything, yell for Clary, call someone, darkness fell around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm rewatching shadow hunters and I must say that it has one of the best soundtracks.

**Author's Note:**

> All characters and theme belong to Cassandra Clare.


End file.
